do you ever feel like mike wazowski
i read this to the tune of Firework…
Covered by the M
Wanting to start again
(via cracked-egg-s)
every song can be depressing if u try hard enough
where do we come from?
where do we go?
where do we come from?
*tear slowly streams down face*
*whispers dramatically* cotton eye joe
“If it hadn’t been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I’d be married long time ago”
Yeah totally cheerful song
so driving back from the city yesterday, i get a random text from what appears to be a middle school boy that texted the wrong number.
^lil playa~~
so does this make me a fucked up individual or
YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD
you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started
Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself. So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out and I still got half a pie left.
BLESS YOU
My goodness
A
(Source: abadeerzs, via mikuridaigo)
(Source: winterforlovers, via a-my-pond)
I’m gonna throw my computer in the trash.
god
fucking
dammit
this is the gratest comic on the internet. you can all go home
this is so stupid why am I laughing
SHUT UP THIS WAS SO BAD
(Source: hamza-in-wonderland, via a-my-pond)
(via cracked-egg-s)
